SURVIVOR - A Poem by Shalini Yadav

 SURVIVOR

I realize every so often Diaspora within myself Where the displacement occurs Two spheres; two identities I keep on crossing the borders of each As what I am supposed to be sometimes Or what I am exactly My identity disperses From one periphery to another Sensitized estrangement Distancing hostility Which I often experience And resist with great efforts Within and in exterior Adjustment of two identities Which try to surmount one another I shuttle between both Which are two different shelves of me As opposite to each other Sometimes conflict; Attempt to overlap I am occupied by both Keep on shifting When I enter in one’s margin The other continues to haunt me As one is traditional and customary Another is enlightened and contemporary They combat and fight back And try to change them From hyphenated To un-hyphenated identity I face an ever changing uncertainty This makes me an outsider Occasionally deep inside me The sense of impermanence Makes me a diasporic within And I exist between two opposite poles It requires lots of strength and vigour To suffer the trauma To adjust myself Between the pull and push of two selves Furthermore I try to assimilate them I apply the strategy of negotiation And carry on with hyphenated identity To be a competent survivor. ©Shalini Yadav

Painting -  Victoria Lapteva

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