Short story by Do Cong Tiem from Vietnam
His biography:
Born in 1955
Published works:
A neighbor friend; Short story collections. Writers' Association Publishing House in 2005.
A sparse night; Collection of short stories - Army Publishing House in 2010.
Neighbor’s Lights - Army Publishing House in 2019.
Literature prize:
C Prize for “Neighbor’s Lights”, Collection of short stories in 2019
First Prize in Memoir for “The Land of Minh Tan 2018”.
The separation
Author: Do Cong Tiem
(Translated by HFT)
The father worked away from home, the mother workedat the field. There were only grandson and grandma at home. Grandma said: you will be like younger Uncle Thinh in the future.
- No! I look like my father.
The boy argued.
Grandma held him in her arms and coaxed:
- You will be like younger Uncle Thinh. You promise. Then I will exchange the sweet for you.
Hearing the candy, he immediately agreed.
- Yes! I will be like younger Uncle Thinh.
Grandma’sface brightened up. She led him to the gate.
The alley was deserted. The two grandson and grandma waited for a long time and still not see the "tangled hair" seller come. As usual, at this hour, there was a voice: "Whoever has duck feathers ... change candy ...". The low-pitched voice dragged on. Following was the sound of young voices. They gave her what she needed. She gave them something that any child would love. Those wereyellow sweet candy.
Wait a long time, the boywanted appetite. He shouted again: "I will be like my father". "Don't grandson. You will be like younger Uncle Thinh." "Oh no, I just am like my father!"
Then he cries. He is angry.
She picked him up. He scratched, he pokedgrandma chest and shouted: "I will be like my father."
Until he wasworn out by grandma lullaby.
- Uuu... my grandson will look like younger Uncle Thinh... err...
Grandma is getting older. That boy is me now. In my memory, that voice still is echoing and the image of a nice and distant younger Uncle Thinh. But in the house, no one is younger Uncle Thinh. I asked her. She became as dumb as a confused person. Askedmy mother, she was silent as if she knew nothing. Asked my father, he brushed it off: "Our house only has old Thinh".
As I know, grandma has only two children, old uncle Thinh and my father. My grandfather was a martyr against the French. My old Uncle Thinh grew up in the army to fight the US and died in the Southeastern front.
My father stayed at home, participated at works in the village, then went to the commune, to the district. After that, my father went to school and switched to work in Hanoi. Many times, my father intended to move the whole family to Hanoi. But grandma said: "must stay at home to celebrate the death anniversary and the New Year". My mother said, "Must be by grandma’s side to take care of her". My father intended to bring me to Hanoi to have better conditions to study. Grandma can't stay away from her grandson, and my mother can't leave her son either.
I live in the countryside with my grandma and mother. Grandma loves my mother very much. And my mother loves her very much too. There is no one in this world who loves each other more than my mother and grandma love each other. Mother just cut her hand a little and grandma whimpered like her hand was bleeding. As for grandma, she was only slightly contrary to theweather, my mother panicked and took the medicine. Two people love each other like native blood. Understanding and pampering each other are as a couple.
Both my mother and grandma love me very much. However, with my father, there was something very "wrong".Every time I go back from work, whether far or near, my father always has gifts for my grandma and mother. Both did not refuse, but never used. Because of working conditions, my father rarely comes home. But every time he comes back, never leaves a warm and happy atmosphere in the house. Grandma is cold. And mother is indifferent. My father is like a stranger from somewhere. When I was a kid, he still had me to hold and play with. But as I grew up, I hadmy own friends, my father became lost in the family.Maybe that's why my father rarely comes home. So father's role in the family also is faded. The delicious candy packages and attractive toys are also fadedto me. I haven't seen my dad for a long time, I don't mention it anymore.
That made grandma happy. But the joy that had just flashed, was extinguished right on her facewith a deep pain.My mother never seemed to have any joy either. Compared to other women of her same time, my mother was a lucky woman. All boys of the village went to the front.But my mother hadher husband at home. Besides, the work was very progressive. My mother should be happy and proud. But why was my mother always sad? A deep sadness that no one known. Only me, a person lived in the boundless love of my grandma and mother, I can realize that. And I realizedmore clearly that there was an invisible gap separating my family members.
I was the one lonely in the middle. It was not possible to follow my grandma and mother against father or vice versa. I tried to figure out why. But the more I searched, the more I came to a deadlock. I felt like I was getting smaller in front of the bigger abyss.I was sad, always haunting, as if a disaster was lurking to threaten my family. My heart waslike it was going to burst, I wanted to scream out loudly “I love you all. Why can't people love each other?"
I lived like that until I passed the university entrance exam. I lived with my father. I had the opportunity to be near him, to understand and compassionate him.I used to think that my father had another woman. That made my mother sad and miserable. Grandma loved my mother and became angry at father. Or my father used his position to embezzle, take bribes, lose his human qualities that grandmawas always proud of the family tradition.
But all was not true. My father had always been a man of integrity - loyal to my mother, devoted to his works, trusted by his superiors and loved by friends. In his head, there were more white hair. His intelligent, alert eyes seemed to contain something melancholy. Sometimes, he was startled. His happiness was to worry and care for me. My father forced me to visit my grandma and mother often.
My grandma's back was getting more and more bent. Her eyes were more opaque. In these opaque eyes, as if still trying to ask, wait for something from me. I felt flinching at her eyes. She refused to sit still. Always tried to use the last bit of energy to help my mother what she can.
My mother was not young or beautiful anymore. Although not as tough as other people around. But the hardship and fatigue were also showed off on mother's face.When I returned to my grandma and mother, I felt sorry for my lonely father in the middle of a bustling place. When I went to the city, I felt sorry for my grandma and mother in the hometown.
Both grandma and mother whole life, especially grandma had suffered from hunger, cold, loss and sacrifice. She must deserve a better life by that. My father was able to provide herwith a more prosperous life than she lived. But she refused everything. And my father also suffered himself patiently, like a roof that enduring all sunshine and rain.
Many times I wanted to ask my father about family matters. But infront of his profound seriousness, I dared not to ask. Until one day, my father, who was healthy, suddenly fell ill and had to be hospitalized.
* * *
My heart hurt when saw my father lying pale on the white hospital bed. My father was getting thinner and weaker too quickly. He looked at me passionately. I was a little scared and bewildered by that look. He waved me closer. I went over to him and sat down by the bed.
- You are now an educated person. You probably want to know what I asked you when you were a kid, right?
I was surprised. So my father still remembered the old story.
- Come on, Dad! Dad, take a break.
I brushed it off because I saw that he was very tired
- Just let Dad talk. Maybe there won't be another chance.
He paused for a moment. Then his words seemed to come from somewhere far away...
…In those days, when your grandfather died, your grandma was very young. She refused all the men who came to her, but stand and support me and younger uncle Thinh. I and him were like two drops of water. So the house called Older Thinh and Younger Thinh. Older Thinh was two years older than Younger Thinh. But Younger Thinhgrew up fast. By the time he was eight years old, he was already as tall as his Older Thinh. Everyone who entered the house thought these were a twins. Older Thinhwas smart and clever.
And Younger Thinhwas healthy, simple, and honest. The temperaments of the two were completely opposite. OlderThinh always took advantage of Younger Thinh's kindness to trick himdoing all the heavy works in the house. When mother saw that, she scolded, and OlderThinh argued, "He helped himself, but I didn't force him". Mother was silent and said nothing. She meant to be unhappy.
Older Thinh studied very well. But at that time, there was a movement "to put aside the pen, to go battle fighting". Just finished high school, Older Thinh joined the army immediately.
Before Older Thinh left to the South, Younger Thinh went up to the army unit to visit his older brother. Younger Thinh stayed for more than ten days before leaving. The two brothers took each other to the end of the Mai Su forest road, then they stopped. Younger Thinh suddenly said:
- Change your clothes for me!
- Change clothes for what?
OlderThinh was bewildered.
- That means I will be a soldier and back to the army unit. And you will back home.
- Must not.
- All right, brother. I already knew all the guys in your unit. The command I also understood briefly. Go home and go to school. No one knows. Dad died. I can replace you to the battle. Please listen to me.
Younger Thinh looked at me earnestly.
Older Thinh was surprised by Younger Thinh's suggestion. Its nature was still the same. Younger Thinhalways got the hard parts for himself and Older Thinh also used to push the works for his brother. But this was life and death, human life. It was no joke. But OlderThinh found YoungerThinh so sincerely. Then the image of a girl with deep dark eyes that made OlderThinh suddenly dull. So OlderThinh took off his clothes.
When Older Thinh came home, his mother, as if she knew everything, immediately asked: "You're going to put his brother to death, right?". OlderThinh paled at mother's question but still tried to argue:
- He took it on himself, but I didn't force him. Indeed, it is true.
Older Thinh saw that there was no need to explain any more.
How can mother say anything. Parents gave birth but god gave characters. Each one had a personality. Mother's heart loved no one more than the other. And did not hate anyone. Mother just wanted what each of them did his own works. Moreover, mother hated those who often put their burdens on others' backs.Anyway, it was over. Older Thinh and Younger Thinh switched their roles. Younger Thinhbecame OlderThinhwho went to the battle. And Older Thinh became Younger Thinhstayed at home, did not go to school, played the role of gentle and simple, actively participated in local works.
Mother lived in silence, until the older brother decided to marry the younger brother's lover. Mother strongly objected. But still failed. Because mother was helpless. She could not tell the truth. Everything happened as if it was arranged by a mysterious hand. After that incident, mother became quiet and depressed. Her mind was focused to the son far away. By the time there was news of the death of Younger Thinh, mother's heart had completely shrunk.
… That was it. Your Younger uncle Thinh gave me both his life and his lover.
My father stopped talking. The secret about my family has been opened. I felt suffocated. The air in the room seemed to thicken. I got up and opened the window. A light breeze rushed into the room. It was late autumn outside. The weather was cool.
I comeback. My father was still lying motionless. Perhaps he was preparing to deal with an impending pain. I sat down next to the bed and said nothing. My father continued speaking slowly in his hard breath.
- Your mother didn't know at first. So I was happy too. I also lived in love. even though it was just a "borrowed" love. But after the truth uncovered, all was over. Your mother was very sad when she found out that she was deceived. Until there was news of Younger Thinh's death. Your mother was in a mental and emotional crisis.
Many times your mother sought to the death. But perhaps thanked to you and grandma who were always by your mother side, your mother also overcome the hardship. As for my part, from then on, it was also a complete difference… I didn't understand why I acted like that either. At that time, I wished that I could not follow to Younger Uncle Thinh. If I still was Older Thinhto go to the battle, how beautiful your life and everything would be much better. At that time, it was probably because I loved your mother very much.
Although I knew that your mother already loved YoungerThinh. But I could not restrainmy heart. I agreed to follow your uncle's suggestion, just because I wanted to have your mother. I thought that I got all. But that was not true. Then realized that in this world, if anyone gives us something, not sure that we will have it...
Up to here, his words were lower. His eyes squeezed shut. There were two clear drops of tear in his eye. His body was shaken. The pain began to torment him again. He struggled to endure. I felt so sorry for my father. How can I hurt for him?
The people who came to the funeral had all returned. Standing next to my father's grave were only my mother and grandma. I did not know if mother supported grandma or grandma helped mother. Then the two of them also dumped on my father's grave. Both were struggling to cry. In the past few days, my father also lived in the love of her mother and grandma. But now… the separation was passed, another one has been taking place.
Δεν υπάρχουν σχόλια:
Δημοσίευση σχολίου